So I hear whichever candy company that makes Milk Duds (Necco?) has decided to start implanting unborn fetuses with a special gene that will make all milk duds taste like they were made with the wonderful splendifiderness of orange flavoring. While this is all swell and good for people born after 2015, where’s it leave us 80sers (80s rule!)? I love the taste of orange as well as the sweltering warmth of feasting upon my opponents blood and pancreas (take that diabetes!) but with evil candy corporation #5 attacking all I hold near and deer within my candy company selection choices, I can no longer get the taste of orange in my non-orange based candy and this really burns my biscuits, because orange is a great flavor that should be added to all non-orange things like Spaghetti or vegetarian oranges. Basically this is as bad as the government giving Super Aids to all people named Milton, but it seriously affects those of us not named Milton (like me, Kevin, which isn’t shortform for Milton). What I really need to say is OMG and poo on you evil candy conglomorate #pi

As a scientist I can tell you that everything this person said is true.

The AISD will back me up.

Although I originally doubted them, I for one welcome our caramel-orange-based overlords.

As an official representative of the American Institute of Scientific Discovery, I wholeheartedly endorse this message.