i seem to have left my shoes at home today. so now I have no shoes.

hahahahaha. some suggestions:

1. wander around barefoot. When exiting the bathroom, say you’re just trying to walk in britney spear’s “shoes”

2. socks are the new shoes?

3. wear your entire biking outfit all day so that your biking shoes look normal

4. use amazon perks to super rush an order from endless.com

5. Can AmazonFresh do a same day shoe delivery?

6. make flip flops out of paper

7. find a sharpie and draw on shoes.

Is this helping?

I think the next big thing in e-commerce is preemptive shopping. That is, Amazon sees the future and orders what you will need for delivery right when you need it.

Then, I would have a cheap set of sandals sitting on my desk when I got to work. But alas, no sandals. :(

I yearn for the future.

More suggestions:

1. Tell people you’ve become a buddhist and have moved beyond the need for shoes. (Explain that you’re working towards pant-release next)

2. Live the day as a hobbit, letting your foot hair grow long and luxurious while your soles toughen. Pipe smoking and extra meals are encouraged.

3. Keep your biking outfit on (like Julia said), but then act indignant when people comment on it. Ask them how they could possibly have forgotten that today is national Lance Armstrong day, and that you’re supposed to wear biking clothes in his honor.

That’s a great idea. Really achieves that whole wish fulfillment aspect of shopping. Next step is clearly to hire a team of astrologers/developers. It’s a specific skill set, but I’m sure they’re out there. You could always stop by this convention: http://www.wjla.com/news/stories/0508/520626.html

OMG just say you’re the emperor and your shoes are made of a material only smart people can see.

you could also say that you’re an emperor and simply have a new groove.

this response is generally applicable, regardless of shoelessness.

I would then be forced to call you a llama-face.

But that’s neither here nor there. It’s yonder.

I’m pretty good at making clothes out of paper if you want help with Julia’s number 6. You saw my dress yesterday, very life-like.

Also, there ARE sandals on your desk in TCC today, you’re just at your desk in TRB instead… Future seeing Amazon does not yet have the power of Santa Claus – to be able to deliver your gifts even if you’re not in the place you’re supposed to be.

Once I get an iPhone, future-seeing Amazon can become location-aware and track me via GPS. It will be awesome.